Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed
in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not
coincidence. (Erma Bombeck)
A man
in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and
says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what
are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of
each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and
I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her. "Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of
this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You
are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then,
don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up
his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for
Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
