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Before You Give Up
by Roger Fields

They feel just like you do. They love the Lord. They care about children. They work hard and long. They know that what they do is eternally important. And they are ready to give up now. They feel like kicking over the puppet stage, flushing the Kool Aid and rolling the helium tank out the door into oncoming traffic. They are children’s pastors. If my travels have taught me anything it is that many in children’s ministry feel like this every Sunday afternoon. We get the calls into our office. We read the e-mail. We read the letters. Discouragement and frustration apply pressure to scores of children’s ministers the way the cookie flattens the filling of an Oreo. A few overcome it. Many learn to endure it. Multitudes eventually give up. The life span of a children's pastor is less than that of a Latin American dictator. 

There are some solutions to some of the frustrations that seem to universally chase those who minister to children. But that’s a different article for a different time. The need of the moment is a dose of compassionate reality that brings this ministry into focus.

If you have plans to confront God in Heaven about why He put you in this thankless ministry you’re going to have to stand in a long line. There are a few others who feel quite the same. Don’t entertain any thoughts about other children’s pastors having a glorious time sailing through their calm waters of children’s ministry while churches toss accolades and money into their boats. Most of those boats sank a long time ago. Most of the people leading children’s ministries can share every one of your feelings. Not many do this for the gold and the glory and we all know why.

Few people can do what you do. I have served as a senior pastor, a children’s pastor and in many other church positions. Being the children’s pastor is the most challenging. Music directors don’t have to recruit people to give up the adult service to sing in the choir. The head usher doesn’t have to hold regular workshops to teach ushers how to pass a plate. Have you ever wondered why they don’t have conferences for greeters? There’s just not that much to learn about coercing people into accepting the weekly bulletin at the door on Sunday. Senior pastors work very hard and the pressure is often intense. The congregation’s regular demonstration of appreciation of them is typically deserved and helps to soften the relentless sense of responsibility. The children’s pastor, however, rarely enjoys anywhere near the same outpouring of affection or gratitude. With few exceptions, children’s pastors operate under broad responsibility while experiencing few of the benefits other ministers receive.

I served as a senior pastor before serving as a children’s pastor. To the surprise of many, I made the decision to jump into children’s ministry. My first Sunday as a children’s pastor, before I had even been given a chance to prove myself, an eight-year-old boy sat down on the front row before children’s church began. He glared straight up at me and asked with a stern voice, "Who are you?"

"I’m Pastor Roger," I replied.

He then asked, "Where’s Larry?"

"He’s not here anymore," I said.

With that he stood straight up and declared for all to hear, "I don’t want YOU; I want Larry" as he marched out of the room and into the main auditorium to sit with mom. At that moment I knew children's ministry was going to be distinct from the lovefest I experienced in adult ministry. I don’t know of many senior pastors who have ever endured people stomping out because they expected someone else that morning to preach. I know children’s pastors who have worse stories than mine. Leading a children's ministry is beyond the scope of what most ministers could ever do.  

Maybe leading a children’s ministry is not your calling. Maybe this is only temporary until God moves you into something different. If that’s the case, there is nothing wrong with making a change into what God has gifted you to do and you need not feel guilty about making the switch. But for many of you, quitting is not the answer. At least not right now.

Congregations do not see you in action and cannot, therefore, appreciate your efforts. Parents only know in general terms what you do for their children. Senior pastors rarely reward you according to your abilities and responsibilities. Even many of the children lack the ability to express what they feel about you. And that, dear friend, is the good news. You are uniquely positioned in ministry to receive your reward from God Himself. The reward Jesus promises in Matthew 10:42 does not apply to choir directors, church treasurers or head ushers. That unique promise of reward is reserved for those who "receive little ones." Don’t resent your lack of reward from the hands of men when the God of the universe has declared His commitment to reward you. Whether the reward is here, in Heaven, or both, there is one thing certain-Jesus makes good on His promises. 

I tell you this. After thirty minutes of participating in your first celebration service in Heaven, no one is going to dismiss the children and expect you to leave with them. Then a few folks are going to work their way through the crowd to move up next to you and thank you for what you did for them when they were kids. And you will be glad you didn't quit.

 

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