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8
Ways to Destroy
Your Children’s Ministry
by Roger Fields |
- Do as many programs
as possible. Start with Sunday School, Awana, children’s choirs,
Christmas programs, Easter programs, VBS, summer camp and day care.
Then do whatever is working in some other church. Do every program that
everyone expects. That will guarantee your children’s ministry will
eventually collapse under its own weight with you at the bottom.
- Emulate the public
school system. Make sure your children’s ministry reminds the kids of a
school classroom. Define “teaching” as lecturing about the Bible. Make
sure your rooms are beige with metal folding chairs. And don’t forget
to put as much useless stuff as possible on the walls.
- Beg for volunteers
often. Make sure people know how desperate you are as you try to get
them on board your sinking ship. Never recruit someone who might
actually be effective. Instead, beg for whoever is willing.
- Do everything
yourself. That’s the only way to make sure anything is done right.
Training others is risky and time consuming. If you let someone else do
something they might make a mistake and that is unacceptable. Don’t work
smart; work hard.
- Never ask for money.
Be as timid as possible. Never give the impression you actually believe
in what you are doing. Pretend it is more spiritual to do without.
- Don’t use your
faith. Never pray or ask God to do something extraordinary. Convince
yourself things are so bad that even God can’t turn it around.
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Never take any risks. Never make big changes. Do only what is safe. Make incremental improvements on programs that never produce much. That way
you can wear yourself out and never see much fruit.
- Complain all the
time. Complain to your family, your friends, the parents, the kids and
the pastor. Complain to anyone who will listen. Make sure everyone knows
how miserable you are. That way when it all falls apart and you are
carted off to the funny farm, your friends will know you have gone to a
better place.
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