42 Things a Children's Pastor Should Be Able To Do

42 Things
EVERY Children's Pastor
Should Be Able To Do

Tell a Bible story without looking at the page. Don't you know the kinds of things that can happen when you lose eye contact with the kids?

Organize a resource room. And keep it locked!

Ask for money. Who else is going to take up your cause to buy all the stuff you need for children's ministry?

Recruit a volunteer. Do you really think they are going to respond to your pleas in the bulletin?

Tell a joke. Prove you have a light-hearted side.

Décor a room. Kid-drawn pictures stuck to beige walls do not inspire excitement or support.

Select curriculum. Dump that denominational stuff and get something really cool.

Pour Kool Aid in a paper cup without spilling it. It's not as easy as it sounds.

Say the books of the Bible in order. Can you afford to be caught standing in front of kids for 10 minutes searching for the Book of Esther?

Use a fire extinguisher without having to read the instructions. You just never know what can happen in children's church.

Screen a worker. Make sure he has never been arrested for anything that starts with a "P".

Baptize a kid. Learn to do it without going under yourself.

Tell when a kid is faking sickness. If you see vomit he's probably not faking.

CLICK HERE

Tell when a kid is not faking the need to go to the bathroom. Look for dancing and squirming.

Say no. Say it loud and say it often, lest you spread yourself to thin.

Get rid of a disgruntled worker. Tell him the greeters need someone like him in their ministry.

Lead a cool game. "Simon Says" does not count.

Use an object to make a point. If you can't do an object lesson you need to find another ministry.

Explain salvation to a kid. Try not to use words like "redemption," "regeneration," or "substitutional atonement".

Direct a VBS. You should be able to do this even though you probably shouldn't.

Use Power Point. If you don't know this is a computer program for presentations, I don't know what to say to you.

Google. You gotta be able to find cool info on the web. For practice, try "Kidz Blitz" and see where that goes.

Cast a vision. You cannot get people on board if they don't know where you want to go.

Pray for sick pets. I'm not sure it works but you have to do it.

Dispense Goldfish crackers without dumping them on the carpet. Please, do not even pretend this is not a critical skill.

Read a book a week. That's right.

Fix a broken chair. You might have people for this but you should know how to yourself.

Hold a baby. Yes, men, you should be able to do this without looking horrified.

Stop a fight. Between kids, not staff members.

Run a sound system. Just in case your sound tech doesn't show up. Just in case.

Let's Get Organized
Children's Ministry Seminar
Columbus, OH
May 23, 2008
CLICK HERE

Remove a stain. This is a skill you will use often.

Walk down a dark church hallway without slamming into a door. There will be opportunities to use this skill.

Disinfect toys. Just spray and wipe.

Operate a large screen TV projector. See #30.

Buy in bulk. Can you say "Sams"?

Know what kind of music today's kids like. I know. I don't like it either.

Blow up and tie a large balloon without getting dizzy. You may have to start with small balloons and work up to this.

Safely drive an old van that bounces. One day you will need this skill.

Know how to converse intelligently about Hannah Montana. Who is Hannah's best friend?

Know how to give a don't-mess-with-me look to the facilities supervisor. Use this skill periodically just so you don't lose it.

Be able to carry an eight-foot table 40 feet without it dragging the ground. No excuses. Just do it.

Know how to converse with your youth pastor without talking down to him. This one is really hard.

Congratulations,
if you can actually do ALL these things.