-
(Abel) Sit closer to your
brother. he won't hurt you.
-
(Adam)
That's a wonderful leaf collection. Now put those back
on.
-
(Cain) OK. maybe you're not. But don't you know where your
brother is?
-
(Daniel)
I told you twice
before, Danny, get away from the
window.
-
(David)
Put that thing down,
Davey, before something flies out and hurts somebody.
-
(David, again) Get down off the roof before something bad
happens.
-
(David, one more time)
Pick
on kids your own size.
-
(Elijah)
Apologize to the nice
camp counselor for starting the bond fire before he got there.
-
(Esther) Yes, Esther, girls can do anything boys can do.
-
(Eve)
Stop trying to make the other
children eat the snacks you brought.
-
(Ezekiel) Zeke, you saw a what inside a what?
-
(Gideon) Please stop drinking out of the pond.
-
(Isaac)
Your father would never do that. Tell us what really happened
on the
weekend camping trip with your daddy?
-
(Jacob) Jake, did you trick your brother out of his prize
again?
-
(James and John)
No, Jimmy and Johnny,
we cannot call down fire from Heaven to burn up the choir for not
letting us use the van.
-
(Job)
Stop worrying, Jobie.
You're rich and successful. What could possibly go wrong?
-
(Jonah)
This is camp, Joe.
Now let’s be a big boy
and get in the boat with the rest of the children.
-
(John)
Johnny, please stop standing on your chair and warning the class about
the coming Apocalypse.
-
(John the Baptist)
J.B., does your mommy know
you eat those?
-
(Joseph)
You can take your coat off now, Joey. I’m sure your brothers at home must be
very proud of
you.
-
(Joshua)
Josh, was that nice? He
worked hard building that!
-
(Judas)
I'm sorry. I don't
know why you don't have any friends.
-
(Moses)
OK, Mo, leave the water alone this time and
we'll try baptizing you again.
-
(Moses,
again)
I'm sorry, Mo,
but we have to give other children a chance to read the class rules.
-
(Naaman) Are you getting a rash?
-
(Noah)
Isn’t there anything
else you can make with popsicle sticks?
-
(Paul)
Paul, Saul, whatever!
Just stop referring to your
sister as your “thorn in the flesh.”
-
(Peter)
Pete, how do you always get
so wet?
-
(Samson)
Sammy, apologize to the other
children for pushing over the swing set.
-
(Samuel) Now Sam, God doesn't talk to kids at night when
they're trying to go to sleep.
-
(Shadrach) You and your friends can sit down now.
-
(Solomon)
Very good, Sol. Now give the other
children a chance to answer.
-
(Thomas)
OK, Tommy, look at this. Now do you believe I got
wounded in the war?
-
(Zaccheaus)
Get
down from there, Shorty, and give that money back to whoever it belongs
to.
Roger Fields
(reprint permission)
