Before
Children / After Children
Author Unknown |
- Before children: I was thankful
to have been born the USA, the most powerful free democracy in the
world.
- After children: I am thankful for
Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time.
Now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes --
which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the
back seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto
the
freeway.
- Before children: I was thankful
for the recycling program which will preserve our natural resources
and prevent the overloading of landfills.
- After children: I am thankful for
swim diapers because every time my son wandered into water in plain
disposables, he ended up wearing a blimp the size of... say... New
Jersey, on his bottom.
- Before children: I was thankful
for fresh, organic vegetables.
- After children: I am thankful for
micro-waveable macaroni and cheese -- without which my children would
be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.
- Before children: I was thankful
for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher
quality of life than my ancestors.
- After children: I am thankful to
finish a complete thought without being interrupted.
- Before children: I was thankful
for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
- After children: I am thankful for
pediatric cough syrup "guaranteed to cause drowsiness" in
young children.
- Before children:
I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught,
encouraged and nurtured me throughout my formative years.
- After children: I am thankful for
all of the people at Weight Watcher who let me strip down to pantyhose
and a strategically placed scarf before getting on the scale each
week.
- Before children: I was thankful
for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could
experience a different way of life in a new culture.
- After children: I am thankful to
have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.
- Before children: I was thankful
for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
- After children: I am thankful for
the butterball turkey hotline.
-
Before children: I was
thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
- After children: I am thankful for
the lock on the bathroom door.
- Before children: I was thankful
for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy
clothes.
- After children: I am thankful
that when the baby spits up but misses my good shoes!
|
|
|
| |
|
