Your Children’s Pastor might be under too much stress if he/she...

• Breathes helium from the tank without even trying to talk funny.

• Mixes two or more flavors of Kool Aid into a paper cup and gulped it down before children's church.

• Stares at the Senior Pastor through a fork during staff meetings and pretended he’s in jail.

• Spells out the names of the pastors kids in his/her alphabet soup.

• Hangs out on Friday nights at the local Chuck E. Cheese.

• Answers the church phone in a puppet voice.

• Verbally abuses the Bob the Tomato puppet.

• Acts more and more like Mr. Rogers.

• Sings Father Abraham (with the motions) in the shower loudly enough to make the neighbors complain.

• Draws mustaches on Bible flannel graph characters.

• Mutters the books of the Old Testament in his/her sleep.

• Raises his/her hand at Denny's and asked the waitress for permission to go tinkle.

• Watches Blues Clues and pointed to the screen yelling “there’s one!”.

• Collects free toys from fast food restaurants and displayed them in the living room.

• Watches Disney movies backwards and looked for hidden messages.

• Recently preached in children’s church about the dangers of Y2K.

• Calls the chairman of the church board in the middle of the night and hung up.

• Talks to board members in Pig Latin.

• Performs magic tricks while in line at Sams.

• Skims money off of the children’s church offering to buy Gummy Bears.

• Bursts into the local post office wearing a full-bodied dog costume and blasted everyone with a super soaker.

• Confessed to putting Sesame Street characters names on a visitor information cards.

• Held up a puppet to talk to the server at a drive through window.

• Refers to the wisdom of Larry the Cucumber.

• Been caught more than once photocopying his/her face on the church copier.

• Redesigned the bulletin board at the local grocery store to put more color in it.

• Tried to give the bank security guard the quiet seat prize.

• Been discovered sitting in the corner of his/her office balloon sculpting in the dark.

• Had to be tackled by an usher for trying to rush the platform when the adult worship service went long.

• Forced his/her way into choir practice and held the choir director hostage with blunt scissors demanding that choir members work in the nursery like everyone else.

• Locked himself/herself in the Sunday School supply room and threatened to blow up the puppet stage until the board votes to go back to one Sunday morning service.

STRESS LEVEL SCORING: Number of "Yes" answers mean...
(0-10) more mature than most children's pastors
(11-20) about normal
(21-30) needs a vacation soon
(over 30) find him/her now!