Parents are telling me that their children are learning more than they are.

I’m just glad all the kids aren’t like yours.

If we put better carpet in the foyer that red Kool Aid stain might come up.

Did you know the fire extinguisher in children’s church doesn’t word very well?

Is the church insurance paid up?

If I had only known Bobby’s dad was a lawyer I wouldn’t have spanked him so hard.

I’m almost done with my series on sex.

Who knew puppets were so flammable?

I hope the Johnson’s aren’t big givers, I just told them to pack up their brats and find another church.

Sorry about the grand piano.